How do we do it? How do we live? Are we present with ourselves and with each other? Is it natural or easy to be like that?
When we’re sad or dissatisfied about how life turns out to be, the easiest way is to escape. We either go back in time, remembering the good times and the happiness or joy we had and felt. We want to re-live those perfect moments; but what we’re actually doing is dwelling over these past memories. And they won’t come back just as they were, because they’re moments in time. And they passed.
We could take a look at how things were, only to be more aware of our needs and what makes our hearts beat. Having a retrospective and meditating over the past are good ideas if we put them in a constructive layout; if the purpose is to know and accept ourselves better; if the meaning of it is understanding and forgiveness.
Another clue of escapism is dreaming with our eyes open about a brighter future. We fantasize that our life would be as we want it to, not knowing that the unknown could be even better than what we stubbornly want. We wish for a certain ‘something’ that caught our eye or a particular ‘someone’ that we have a crush on. Of course, the heart wants what it wants; but only if we could be true to ourselves, and not headstrongly desiring something for the sake of it, we would hear that little voice inside whispering exactly what we need to have and to experience.
So yes, we know it all! We intuitively know if someone is good for us or not, but sometimes we just need a proof; definitely, as we’re going in the wrong direction. I don’t know why, but to me it happens all the time. I deeply know if a person or a situation isn’t right for me, and I still go there. Just to prove myself that my intuition was all right: the dis-believer behavior.
And now I’m going to tell you about my biggest trap along the years: the waiting. If we always build stories and expectations around people and situations, tying them to our future, we will be in a constant state of waiting. Nothing that we see, feel, experience, encounter in the present would be just as satisfying as our illusion. So normally, we will always feel frustrated.
Waiting was my natural state. Talking about the proverbial Taurus stubbornness, once I put my mind to something/or someone, there was no way I couldn’t have it. And so I started imagining and picturing the ‘perfect’ scenarios for me and my happiness, not allowing life to actually happen; not considering anything else but my ‘vision’.
Don’t get me wrong, having a purpose and a vision is something great; visualizing love and abundance in your life can ease fulfilment; but not putting labels on things, not saying to the universe: I want this older man with sexy gray hears to be my husband (and I want it now!), when the universe has another one for you, that will completely love and adore you, whom you can grow old and together with.
So yes! Definitely ditch the waiting, of any kind. The time is now, now is the time for everything you want to be or everything you want to do. There is no such thing as a perfect time, that’s another illusion. And that will cost us our lives. Because if we wait until we feel ready, it’s never going to happen. Fear will always take over when we’re wrapped around in uncertainty and insecurity. Life will slowly pass.
I am a perfectionist, so I know what I’m talking about. Until I don’t figure out every detail, I will not start anything. And that’s my biggest flaw. I am a visionary, but without the proper action it doesn’t mean a thing. So I encourage myself and you to go do those things! Try, fail, come back and do it again! Don’t wait, because the more you do, the more you will construct something in your head that doesn’t match reality. And you will only postpone things.
And so I learned to not wait anymore: for a perfect timing or for a perfect imaginary someone. I continue to listen to my heart, and sometimes the voice it’s clearer and sometimes it’s not. But it’s all right, because I am free from the past and optimistic regarding the future. I could never miss what is meant for me. It can only be delayed, but because of my remaining little stubbornness. I am hopeful and faithful. I slowly begin to have peaceful detachment and I easily melt in total surrender.
Now, let’s continue in this more optimistic way, shall we? When we’re happy, for no matter what reason, we unconsciously enjoy every moment – as time goes by. Happiness is not a state of deep wonder and soul-searching, unless we decide it to be. When happiness surrounds us, let’s be and feel grateful for how life spoils us. Let’s be good and empathic with one another, let’s extend this joy to everyone around us. Let’s do great things in awareness.
So, if your present moment is full of light, cherish it and spread the joy. And if your present moment is kind of dark, know that it brings healing and it prepares you for what’s to come next in your life.
“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” – Lao Tzu