Posted by: Ana
January 17, 2015
My dears, I’m going to reveal my most treasured passion: tango.
It all started three years ago, when one of my friends convinced me to take a beginner’s class together with her and her boyfriend. I didn’t have a partner, but for tango it’s actually not a condition. It’s better to dance even from the start with more than one partner, to not get use to one style of dancing. Each one is different and if you dance with many partners, than you develop your flexibility more.
I don’t even know where to begin – maybe with the fact that I’m completely and hopelessly in love with it! But it was not love at first dance, not even close.
You probably know how it is like to be in a beginner’s class (no matter what you’re going to learn). Everybody around is new, there’s a lot of clumsiness and awkwardness around it and you don’t really feel comfortable. Especially when it comes to being in such a passionate dance!
I loved the music, I had this romantic idea about what it would be like to dance tango – but the reality kicked in: as with everything that you learn for the first time, this process is not easy nor fully pleasant. So, instead of fireworks and butterflies on the dance floor, I had two left-feet. And not only me, but my partners too.
Though, I had great teachers who always encouraged us not only to come to classes, but also to practice. In the end, it seems I was just not ready – because I never went. So, after almost 2 months I gave up tango for another adventure: travel the world.
Never thought about it again. Until, of course, the same friend convinced me exactly one year ago to come to a milonga (I never knew how many places there are, in which you could dance tango!). The location was breathtaking: Casa Vernescu in Bucharest. I must admit that I had a little bit of nostalgia for tango, but a greater desire to see that beautiful building from the 18th Century (that the french architects with their eclectic style managed to influence a lot of european cities with at the time).
So I went, not knowing that that night was going to change my life forever. Not only did my dear friend offer me a pair of tango shoes, but I had the most magical night! I was invited to dance the whole night through, I admired so many lovely couples on the dance floor, I was in this amazing location with refined architecture and interior design, the music was soul-nourishing and everybody was very elegant: men wearing classy suits and women having the most flattering dresses. The whole atmosphere was like a fairytale, or like the scene of a romantic movie.
And, the cherry on top of the cake, I also met my future teachers! A young and fine couple, with a certain beauty, passion and mystery around them. I admired their dance and wished I had the chance to dance with him that night.
What were the chances that another friend I met there would know them and introduced them to me? The next thing I know, I was in his arms wrapped in a subtle, floating and dizzy sensation. I thought I didn’t know how to dance – but, in his embrace, I felt my body responding to his movements in such an unexpected way. It was surreal!
The next chapter began: I started to attend their classes. Ever since I joined this tango venture, my life changed for the better. And I’m not exaggerating. I found out on my own skin that tango is not only a hobby that uplifts me, but a very useful tool in my personal development.
Through tango I learned that outer equilibrium is dependent upon inner balance, that the fear of surrendering relates to the obsession for controlling, that a stiff posture reflects an inflexible mind.
I also learned that elegance and refinery can be cultivated, that it it safe to let go and trust, that it is beautiful to express my emotional world in the dance.
There were not only delightful moments in my hours of dancing tango, I have to admit. This dance, through all my partners, also mirrored me in my darkest moments, revealing my weakest spots. And I’m very happy it did. Because I grew so much from it! It showed me where I need to put my attention in order to evolve (not only as a better dancer, but as a better person too).
It helped me be present in my body, gain inner strength and confidence, be appreciative of life, feel the people that I embrace.
It showed me another way of being playful and seductive, it sharpened my feminine sense, it lit the fire in my heart.
And, another important aspect, it revealed a mysterious way of interacting with the opposite sex. The way you dance tango reflects a big part of who you are in life and how you are in intimacy. Are you afraid of your tango partner? Do you trust him? Can you accept him and get close to him? Can you surrender? Are you comfortable in your body and enjoying its movements? Are you bringing emotions into your dance?
All of the above questions are applicable with your life partner as well – just switch “dance” with “life”. A dance well danced may be a life well lived.
Tango is improvisation. There are some basic steps, but there’s no choreography. If you are a woman, you have to trust your partner to leading you in the right direction – not being afraid of stumbling upon others or falling. You also have to follow his lead, through the intention and energy that come from his chest (do you think it’s a coincidence it comes from the place where the heart is?).
In this dance, men let their partners sparkle. They know how important it is for women to be able to shine their light.
There is an on-going flow of seductive energy. They both allow themselves to have their own moments of glory, without any struggle. Letting go and allowing is their only game.
Could it be a more suitable metaphor for real life relationships? If we could just bring that into our lives, we would only have harmony – because most battles are over control. And most unhappiness is due to the lack of seduction.
Could it be a better comparison with life itself? You can only know a few things in life – but the rest is a surprise, a miracle. Life is spontaneous. And if we don’t trust it, we will only block it.
“The tango is an embrace in movement. A man and a woman enter a dialogue through their bodies, guided by music which has an almost somber quality of yearning. Of a passion that can never be fulfilled. Of a sweet sadness. Two strangers become one for the duration of the dance. Two opposites come together briefly to create the fantasy of a harmonious whole” – Gisela Kirberg Mamone