Posted by: Ana
January 15, 2015
In this moment of time, I’m not in the presence of my beloved. But I realised I don’t miss him, because he’s now part of me – his love runs through my veins. You can only miss something that you think you don’t have. How can I miss him, when he’s so present within me?
For all that, what I do miss is the physical expression of us being together: acting childish and silly, or having serious talks at 4 in the morning; forgetting ourselves in a sweet embrace, or doing ordinary things like watching syrupy romantic movies and cooking for each other. Common things, but filled with such a nourishing energy!
Living the distance, there are a few questions that float through my mind. And they kind of triggered me into writing this piece. My writing helps me be more lucid and, hopefully, will also help you on your own journey.
When do we experience the opposite of closeness? Is being in the same timeframe and space a prerequisite for intimacy? Is proximity the most valuable thing when two souls share a deep connection? What is separateness?
For me, closeness does not equal nearness – it can actually transcend distance. Just as nearness does not encompass closeness. Closeness would be the feeling of two melting souls. When do you feel close to someone? Especially when you love them! And you don’t have to be near them to love them as much as you do. But you feel you are, in a way. You are carrying the very essence of your connection.
So, if closeness is this powerful supply of endless positivity – what is the opposite? And, more importantly, when do we start feeling it?
The opposite may well be loneliness. You feel left out, alone, with nobody to take care of you. But darling, this could not be your true self – nor your true need! This is a victimising position that comes from the illusion of our mind, that we often use to manipulate things in order to feel “safe”. This may come as a paradox, but we could never be safe as long as (we feel) we’re in control. As long as we basically come from a place of dependency.
We desperately need presence only when we’re afraid. The sense of possession and the fear of losing, instability and anxiety – these have all the same origin: the mind that makes everything seem dreadful.
Don’t be the slave of your mind. In fear, you can never be free. But there’s also a good part to this story: once you become aware of your “why’s”, you start gaining control over your emotions. And, with the help of your mind this time, you can design a different script and paint it with the colours of trust and love.
The presence of the one you love is important, I’m not taking that away from you. We have, in different degrees, one basic need for intimacy, for human touch, for a warm hug, for a passionate kiss – for palpability. Something tangible makes us feel more alive! So each time we share this with our dear ones, we create a memory that lasts not only in our mind – but it’s printed in our bodies too. And we remain with that fragrance and aura.
We can access that common space. Intimacy is not only right here and right now, it’s always. It’s more prone when we’re together, but it’s there even when we’re apart. It’s timeless and infinite in the same time.
Vicinity offers enjoyment. Distance reveals depth. They’re both essential for a relationship. When you are close to each other, be fully present and engage! When you are apart, have sharp clearness about what you want!
Dissociation is just a veil. Two souls that recognised each other and felt their calling can never know division. Go deeper than perception – you know your path and you’re in touch with your feelings. Explore the wild side and love madly!
“Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other” – Paulo Coelho